what is sideways disinheritance — and how do you stop it?

Sideways disinheritance is when money you meant for your children ends up going “sideways” to someone else’s family instead. It usually happens after one parent dies and the survivor remarries or moves in with a new partner. You can stop it by putting a protective trust in your will, so your share of the house and savings is ring-fenced for your children while your partner still has a home for life.

It’s legal. It’s common. And almost nobody sees it coming, because it only happens years after the wills were signed.

how does it actually happen?

Say Mark and Julie have been married 30 years. They own a house in Worksop and have two grown-up children, Sam and Lucy. Like most couples, they made simple wills years ago: everything to each other, then to the kids.

Mark dies first. Everything passes to Julie. So far, so good.

A few years later, Julie meets Graham. They marry. Here’s the first problem: in England and Wales, getting married cancels your existing will. Julie’s old will, the one leaving everything to Sam and Lucy, is gone.

If Julie makes a new will leaving everything to Graham, or doesn’t make one at all, a big chunk of what Mark and Julie built can pass to Graham. When Graham dies, it goes to his children. Sam and Lucy get little or nothing from either parent.

Nobody did anything wrong. Julie loved her kids. It just happened.

what if they never remarry?

It can still happen. The survivor might move in with a new partner and put the house into joint names. They might be persuaded to change their will later in life. They might go into a new relationship and simply never get round to updating things.

The common thread is this: once everything has passed to the survivor, it’s theirs, completely. Whatever the first person to die wanted doesn’t bind them. A will that says “everything to each other” gives the first person no say at all over where their half ends up.

how does a protective trust stop it?

Instead of leaving your share of the house straight to your partner, you leave it into a trust in your will. The usual version is called a life interest trust, sometimes called a property protection trust.

Go back to Mark and Julie. If Mark’s will had put his half of the house into a trust, Julie could still live there for the rest of her life. She could move and buy somewhere smaller, and the trust would carry on in the new place. Nothing about her day-to-day life changes.

But Mark’s half is protected. Julie can’t give it to Graham, and nor can anyone else. When Julie dies, Mark’s half goes to Sam and Lucy, exactly as he wanted.

I explain the full picture on my sideways disinheritance page, including how the trust is set up and who looks after it.

does the way we own our house matter?

Yes, a lot. If you own the house as joint tenants, which is how many couples buy, your half passes automatically to the other owner when you die. It goes outside your will. That means a trust in your will can’t touch it.

To make the trust work, you usually need to change to owning as tenants in common. That lets each of you own a defined share that can go through your will. It’s a simple form to the Land Registry, and I’ll talk you through whether it’s right for you.

is a trust the right answer for everyone?

No. If you have no children, or you’re both happy for everything to go to whoever survives with no strings, a simple will may be fine. I’ll tell you that straight.

A trust isn’t a way to dodge care fees either. There are rules about deliberately reducing what you own to avoid paying for care, and I won’t pretend otherwise. If there’s a tax angle, I’ll tell you if you need a specialist.

Where a trust earns its keep is in blended families, second marriages, and couples who simply want to know their half will reach their children, whatever happens next.

If you’d like to talk it through, I’ll come to you anywhere within an hour of Worksop. We’ll sit down at your kitchen table and I’ll explain it in plain English. You can book a home visit here.

This is general information, not legal advice for your situation. I’m not a solicitor — I’m a will writer, and I’ll tell you if you need one.